the end June 13, 2008

24th may, we found i was pregnant.

after one whole year of trying. we got a perfect gift for our anniversary. we were over the moon. we thot that one year of stress and worrying, visits to the gynae, popping pills has ended for us.

11th june, i suffered a miscarriage.

i knew the pregnancy was over. the pregnant feeling was just not there. i didnt feel anymore connection with the baby. it may have not been a baby yet, but what the hell, fetus or baby, it was my baby. but as usual, i wanted to stay positive and didnt want to alarm Hubby or my family.

my feeling was confirmed when the bleeding became heavy, the cramps and backaches were so severe, i couldnt even sit or stand. i was crying over the phone asking Hubby who was working to come home and bring me to the hospital. i juz knew…

when the doctor confirmed the miscarriage. i just held back my tears. didnt want to cry in front of the doctor. but juz couldnt control it once i stepped out of the doctor’s room. i juz couldnt stop crying.

i juz cried till i felt so tired. and Hubby was comforting me all the way saying that its fate, its juz not time for us to become parents and we’ll try again.

and i’ll always remember how i was in his arms that nite, i was juz too tired, i stopped crying. but he cried softly. i let him cry. i knew he too was hurting like me. we both couldnt sleep that nite.

i wouldnt want to say im okay now. everiting juz happened so suddenly. in a time span of 3 weeks, i was pregnant & un-pregnant. how surreal is that??

everibodi been comforting me saying that miscarriages happen at this early stage of the pregnancy, but seriusly i dont reali want to hear those words. coz they dont know how we’ve been waiting for this pregnancy to happen. it has been emotionally and financially straining to us.

i still think about it. i having insomnia again. cant sleep and having a hard time to sleep. i dont reali have ani appetite to eat. haha good ting is that ive lost some weight. some…

and all i want is for this nightmare to stop but apparently it hasnt coz im still bleeding buckets. the doctor wants me to cleanse naturally. she doesnt want to do any washing of the womb. so here i am, still have a constant reminder that i was pregnant and i suffered a miscarriage. 

i sound angry, dont i? but seriously im not. im juz doing wateva it takes to get over this. its hard. i wouldnt be strong without Hubby and my family who has been so patient and loving to me.

insyallah, mayb another round. hopefully it wont bring me this much pain the 2nd time round.

for you all who have been so kind with your words, your well-wishes & prayers, i reali appreciate it. thanks.

david vs david May 21, 2008

oh, oh which david do you think will take home the crown??

hmmm, i still cant make up my mind. both are good in their own ways. both are cute. both sounds good. both deserves to be in the top 2. but i still dont know who will deserve to be the number one!

i think it all depends on their performance tonite. cant wait!!

this is my fav archuleta’s performance. may sound weird at first but isnt he juz adorable attempting this song.

and this is my 2nd fav cook’s song. the other of coz being ‘always be my baby’.

good luck davids!

wif or wifout you April 26, 2008

Hubby’s not happy that his Wifey ate Mcgriddle wifout him.

despite repeating like 100 times it wasnt nice to be eaten. it was yucky. it was not worth the price. it was the case of ‘i have to eat it myself to believe what my wife says’.

so he’s treating me to a macdonalds breakfast tomoro before he heads off to his weekly badminton game.

and this time im sticking to my big breakfast. Hubby die die wanna taste the Mcgriddle. good luck love.

we are going on a movie date tonite. oh, i miss going for midnite shows.

i also miss going out with the couples kakis. well, looks like everione’s busy. and aside meeting up to makan, there’s not reali much to do in spore, other than the usual, watch movie, play bowling, makan.

well, enjoy the weekend kids. for me, there’s the two stacks of karangan papers waiting to be marked.

manjalara the end April 5, 2008

ive finished watching manjalara. like finally.

ive been faithfully watching manjalara on sensasi. but its been like going on foreva and foreva.

luckily i found this webbie! now i can watch all gerek malay drama serial (dat suria neva shows!) on this webbie and no need leceh-leceh find on youtube.

http://siridramamelayu.blogspot.com

tengok jangan tak tengok!

neutralism March 18, 2008

its hard to enjoy your working environment when people close to you start bad-mouthing about each other and back-stabbing each other.

doesnt reali affect me that badly since im the type, you talk to me i talk to you. if not i rather shut the hell up and finish up my neva ending work. i can be so bo-chup if i want to.

i rather be neutral and sit on the fence.

its affecting one of my fren tho. could onli advise her to juz masuk telinga kanan and keluar telinga kiri. its not worth it getting so stressed up about things that doesnt concern you.

rather enjoy my time at work.

like i said, people change. at one point or another. that’s why some really close people can turn enemies in a blink of an eye. how to work together again after that?? weird rite…

March 6, 2008

tom yam soup February 10, 2008

i am looking for the recipe of spicy, smacking delish tom yam soup.

requested by who else…my foreva mengidam Hubby.

been looking for recipes over the net. many, many version. but looks leceh to prepare too ;[

so many ingredients to buy and prepare. hhmmm…..im a lazy cook hehe.

tom yam goong. any suggestion?

December 20, 2007

i’m hungry….

what’s new??

*EXAM MUGGERS* April 22, 2006

*EXAM MUGGERS*

Not counting today, I have juz two more freaking days till Sastera exam. It doesnt sound dat scary now but it will be mayb tomoro nite, or Monday morning or mayb Monday nite or mayb even Tuesday morning. Eksyen onli…

Da Selengerz gerlz haf been commuting between their home and mommi Fard’s haus. So long since we camped at her haus or even aniwhere. I tink it will be da laz one actuali. And you know wat, we Selengerz dont make it an effort to meet up, all 6 of uz to meet during Practicum and I dont know wat’s gonna happen after we actuali becom real cikgus, mayb it will be 6 months later before we actuali meet again.

And how com its either me or Fard who actuali take da initiative to arrange a gathering?? No fair tau!!!

Today, everibodi’s went home and do their own self-study. Mayb I’ll be studying, mayb I’ll juz sleep coz I so damn sleepylah. After all dat laughing yesterday morning, at 1am, den reading Hikayat Abdullah till 3am, den waking up at 8am to go for kelas.

Da few days mugging haf been tiring but fun. It made me realise how I missed you gerlz so and how Im gonna mizz you gerlz so…

dis is me and minah-conpused!

eh gigi kita mcm sama gitukan…

dis is me and puan counseller

and dis is me and da small minah rock…in case you’re wondering who’s dat psycho beside her, dats her stalker!

But Im all hepi coz Ive new clothes to wear lah. Went to collect da 5 pairs of baju kurung, kebaya, blouses dat I sent to da makcik tailor. Its like Hari Raya Aidilfitri came early. But look who’s having a more good time wif da bajus den me….

*MOMOK* April 17, 2006

So ok I got somting to confess…..
yesterday nite…..
i slept in my parents’ room!!

Hahaha imagine dat, a 24 going 25 woman sleeping in her parents’ room wif her parents!
But releklah, not in between dem eh. Tu tak senonoh!
I slept on da floorlah, wif all da dust and hairs and cobwebs maybe.

Deres a stori behind in, tak kan lah suker2 nak tido bilik parensts! Tu keje tak senonoh…

So here’s da stori, and coming from me, it may be a selenger one or it may not, so read on.

It was 1 am and I was all ready to sleep wen I heard a “duk, duk, duk” sound coming from da floor above. It sounded like sombodi running and hitting their heels on da floor continously. Tak ke seram tu! Didnt wan to entertain my imagination dat somtimes can go haywire so I buat bodoh. But dat sound kind of became louder and didnt stop for 15 minits. How could I fall asleep kan?

So wat did I do? I called my mom and asked her to com into my room to listen to da sound. She heard it alrite, so it wasnt my imagination. Den she called in my dad. My dad masuk aje dalam my room, da sound stopped. But me, scared out of my wits, angkut all my bantals and selimut and bunked in my parents’ room.

Although it was quite hard to fall asleep, lying on da cold hard floor, in a silent room, wif both my parents in the room, I did fall in a deep slumber after 10 mins. Da next morning, my parents told me dat dey both couldnt sleep after da incident of me disturbing dem. But me, I had quite a peaceful sleep. Bez! Hehehe.

So I woke up at 7am, at da same time my dad was going off to work. Dah pagi, dah subuh, apa nak takut. So I angkut lagi my bantals and selimut and off to my bed. I on da fan full blast, and lied down. Den I heard da sound again lah! “Duk, duk, duk”! Dalam hati, apa ni, pagi2 pon ada momok! Den I peeked down to da side of my bed. I kind of figured out wat made dat “duk, duk, duk” sound yesterday nite….it was da strong wind from da full blast fan dat made da corner of da sarong tilam dat nearly touched da floor to hit da floor and made dat “duk, duk, duk” sound. But it was so loud yesterday nite. Cepat2 I tarik da sarong tilam.

I dont know whether my theory was rite. But it kinda sounded nicer kan den da momok theory. Mayb it was da fan + da sarong tilam punya keje or mayb dat sound was from da floor above. I dont wan to know!

And guess wat sound I heard at pukul 7.30 pagi?
Bunyi marble lah from da above floor again! Pucker! Oklah juz let me be hepi wif da theory dat anak neighbour atas was playing wif huge marbles coz it sounded damn loud ok.
Da marble sound has been a frequent ting from da upstairs neighbour. Tak kan 1 or 2 am anak auntie tu maseh main guli kan??

Eeeeee seram….