*WRONG PROFESSION?* March 31, 2006

*WRONG PROFESSION?*

Let me officially announce dat I simply detest my p5s. I cant stand dem. Dey will manage to bring my day down and too bad, my day starts wif dem. Sheeesshhh!! You muz be wondering if da cikgu is da one wif da problem and making it sound like dey are terrible kids. Nope, dey are not terrible kids, dey are terrible, terrible kids! Many times, after teaching dem, I question myself as an educator. Whether I am da one who is a failure, and haloo Im not even yet an official cikgu, Im juz a trainee teacher! And its always da smarty pants who haf such smart-ass mouths, dat make me wanna gif dem one tight slap. Kids nowadays, so damn rude. Makes you tink whether dese kids haf parents to teach dem manners or whether dey were raised by hyenas! Heaven forbids my own kids turn out dat way. Onli den can I gif dem one tight slap.

I have always said dis, and I’ll say it many, many times again…Im more comfortable working wif young, small, lower primary and below kids. Any further den p3, OMG, I juz cant stand dem! Dey irritate da hell out of me! Imagine wen my future children grow up, dats gonna be a problem.

Wat happened today made me tink again about my future. Do I reali wan to teach dese grownup kids like foreva of my life and let dem be da cause of my earli death or pursue my real interest of teaching much more younger kids? Should I haf taken up dat offer to get my Diploma in Earli Childhood 4 years ago instead of entering NIE? Should I quit after serving my 5 years bond wif MOE and den pursue dat Diploma? Should I gif up my dream of entering UM wif da Geng coz wats da point wen dats not where my real interest lies?

See how serious it is?! It has always been my dearest dream to get dat degree from UM eva since I entered NIE but now it doesnt sound dat appealing no more coz getting a degree dere juz means a lifetime to bond to MOE and a lifetime of misery teaching dose brats!

Mayb after dis whining, a bag full of US dollars drops from heavens onto my chubby lap. Mayb den I can pay my bond to NIE. Mayb den I can open my own kindergarten and live happily after. Mayb, mayb…

My p2 kids, I simply adore dem, altho dey take up so much of my energy of having to explain every single ting and despite dem not being able to stop interrupting and fidgeting wen Im talking, I still heart dem. On moz Fridays, I’ll tend to forget dat class finishes at 3.25pm instead of 2.55pm. So today, at 2.55pm, I’ve alreadi sent dose little ones to queue for their next class. Fortunately, da CT alerted me and I shooed dose kids back into da classroom. Cant possibly ask dem to do any writing now, so I told dem da story of ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’ but Malay version lah. Altho moz of dem haf alreadi heard da stori and continously informed me about dat fact, surprisingly moz of dem paid full attention to me. Altho I nearly turned hoarse trying to tell da story loudly, I was hepi. Dey neva fail to bring a smile to my face wen I sent dem off to their next class, den som of dem would salam and kiss my hand and I’ll say bye, bye to each and everione of dem. I do dat bye, bye part to my p5 kids, dey neva layan me! Tak layan sudah! Gue enggak heran!

dis boy holding da pencil, nama dia herwanwarni, cute kan nama? he kept laughing kesukaan while i was taking da pixs eventho i wasnt pointing da cam at him. dats his gd fren, nasir. both cute and talk non-stop.

dis little gerl kat depan skali is adillah and she yaps non-stop and can be so stubborn somtimes i wanna cekik her.

dats dem doing karangan

Do I sound bias? But Im feeling miserable you know….dey make me feel miserable.

MSN March 30, 2006

MSN

Sombodi wif da emel add shaz_man24@hotmail added me at msn. Being da over frenly person dat I am, tinking its sombodi I know has added me. Ok den, I added dis person. From da add, I knew it’z a guy. He was logged in juz now and prompted me. So first qns I asked, “Who’s dis?”. He asked me da same qns. Wifout answering him back, I asked him “Do I know you?” but he still didnt reply, so as a final threat, I asked him “Yes or No?” His reply, “So you are a Yes or No gerl”. Eh eh dekni. So he finally confessed dat he dont know nor do I know him. I was “automatically” added to his msn. Huh?? Ada ke benda mcm gitu?

Being da overly kepo person dat I am, and non-trusting person coz I once kena duped by dis particular biatch once, who knows dis mite juz be her, I asked dis guy qns non-stop. He tried to ask me qns also, but I buat dont know, and didnt ans any of his qns. But he, wif rela hati answered all my qns. So his name is Shazaman, mixed parentage of Indian-South African, moved here at da age of 10, aged 24, studying at NUS, working part-time at his dad’s company, is a graphic designer and he lives in Orchard Road. Ring a bell to anibodi? Tell me if you know him okie.

I even went to ask him if he was married, engaged or has a gf coz I didnt wan to be talking to any gerl’s husband, fiance or bf. Hahaha contradicting? Coz Im sombodi’s fiancee. Dont worri my dear frenz, who knows my history, no bad intention here aite, coz I’m not in any troubled relationship. And to dat particular qns, he said he’s still 100% single. Any interested party, inform me okie coz he sounds like one anak orang kaya.

But he sounded nice lah. He said I have a nice name and dat I sound like one interesting gal. And he thot I was a Malay Malaysian coz Im a Malay and bcoz I asked him which area he lived in. Heloo do I sound like one minah johor??

Well dat brought back memories of chatting like siow 3 years ago, in search of happiness lah konon coz I was in misery. But hey, I did found my happiness thru chatting, which I didnt expect to happen. I found my true love, who insyallah I’ll be spending da rez of my life wif. Pray for me yah.

As for Mr Shazaman, lets juz say, Ive juz met a new fren. No harm in dat rite?

*BALING BOLA BOWLING* March 29, 2006

*BALING BOLA BOWLING*

Hehe we went to our first eva main bowling date in our nearly 3 years relationship. So fun, especially wen I beat him by a few points. Sungguh tak diexpected by him coz I told him I tak tau main bowling and tak pernah main bowling. Hehe bedeklah kan tu. I said dat coz I didnt wan da forbidden topic to pop up. But after beating my ’slua-asik-melorot-masa-bowling’ Darling, he kept asking me “Macam gini tak pernah main bowling ke?” Hehe buat muka dont know lah.

One laz min observation wif da CT today went quite well. To me lah, dont know my CT’s response yet coz onli tomoro will she be discussing it wif me. I felt it went well coz my P2 enjoyed da lesson. But dont know eh. I feel dis practicum, Im not doing as well as my oder close frens and not as well as I shld be doing. Mayb Im slacking, mayb I cant be bothered, mayb Im not trying as hard as dey are. But I know dey deserve to do well coz dey put in so much effort in all dat dey do. But me, Im not trying as hard as laz practicum coz I know Im not going to get dat credit, so why bother.

As long I pass, can alreadi lah. I cant be bothered alreadi. I juz screw up wen sombodi watches me teach. On normal days wen Im left all alone, I can say dat I teach like a seasoned cikgu. But once anoder pair of eyes are roving at da back, start lah aku nya kaku tu. My resolution, get everiting done and over wif, fast!

Geng, lets go bowling one of dese days. Mish u gerlz and guy

*A MASTER OF ONE PARTICULAR THING, A JACK OF MANY, MANY MORE* March 28, 2006

*A MASTER OF ONE PARTICULAR TRADE, A JACK OF MANY, MANY MORE*

Haha! I haf finally mastered da art of leaving Dear alone wen we quarrel wif each oder. You know how guyz need their space kind of crap, while we women wants to talk about it, blah, blah. Well, lets juz say Ive kind of turned into part guy by developing an ego as big as theirs. I can be very egoistic if I wan to.

Da solution is too juz leave to him to his ‘I-need-space stuff’, while I would keep myself busy wif useful stuffs dat can neva get done coz I was to busy being at his beck and call. Den after awhile, he will realise dat he misses me, and cant leave live wifout my sweet voice, and den realise dat by being egoistic doesnt help matter, only den will he kol me and say sori non-stop. Haiz…isnt dat sweet revenge.

Although I have stopped being angry at him on dat same day we quarelled, I acted like I was still angry and refused to forgive him, refused to pick up da fone, and wen I eventually picked up da fone after da 7th missed call, I talked as if I didnt wan to hear his voice. Im one clever gerl and a little bad gerl, aint I?

It takes time to master dis trade ok. Laz time, I used to pester him to talk, to let it out, to set tings stret, to tell me his feelings…but all dat wasnt successful coz guyz do need deir space. So dey wan it, gif it to dem lah. It juz means more free time for us ladiez.

Loving dis song at da moment, its on da repeat mode on my Pinky. But it sounded a little bit betta wen Siti Nurhaliza sang wif Ada Band.

Masih (Sahabat, Kekasihku) - Ada Band

Rasa cinta yang dulu telah hilang
kini berseri kembali
Telah kau coba rebahkan dirinya hapus cerita lalu

Dan lihatlah,
yang tersenyum
dirimu bagai bunga di musim semi
jawaban sgala gundahmu…
Menatap indahnya dunia, yang seiring menyambut.

Walau badai menghadang
Berdua kita lewati jalan yang berliku…tajam
Ingatlah ku kan slalu setia menjagamu
Setiap waktu wajahmu yang lugu
slalu menjadi langkahku

Telah lama menanti dirimu
Cahaya hatiku
Seperti bintang
tempat ku kan berlabuh
Membawa kedamaian
Yakinlah kekal abadi selamanya
Seperti bintang yang sinarnya terangi sluruh ruang di jiwa

Walau badai menghadang
Ingatlah ku kan slalu setia menjagamu
Berdua kita lewati jalan yang berliku… Tajam
Resah yang kau rasakan, kan jadi bagian hidupku bersama mu
letakkan segala lara di pundakku…. ini

*PINKY* March 27, 2006

am in da mood for pink, pink, pink and mayb a touch of black.
altho we not talking love, you know i still heart you, lotz.
till we talk again….

*HAD A BAD DAY* March 27, 2006

*HAD A BAD DAY*

Cause you had a bad day

You’re taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don’t know

You tell me don’t lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don’t lie

You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Dats about me…had a bad day, a bad, bad day, and a bad, bad observation indeed.
Its reali bad wen I didnt manage to finish my lesson dat I have planned so nicely. Dats called overplanning.
But well, he complimented dat my planning was good, da materials dat I have prepared was good but wen objectives werent met and lesson wasnt finished, nuthin else matter you know.
Im not one to ponder and regret. Wats over and done wif is done.
All I wanna to now is get some sleep.

4 down, 3 more to go…..and 13 more days.

p.s: Can u tag me? I dont see da below part of da tag board where u enter ur nick and ur msg. Somting wrong wif it?

*HEADBANGING* March 26, 2006

*HEADBANGING*

Nope, Im not listening to any kind of sound dat needs me to do som headbanging but rather, I haf dis strong urge to bang my head against da wall coz I feel a reali terrible migraine coming rite up.

Reason for migraine:
1. quarelled wif ‘dat human being’ (dat’s his nick at da moment)
2. da big boss is coming tomoro but he didnt tell wen so I gotta to prepare for both level. Arrghh I so dont like surprises.
3. laz min preparation of materials. I dont why but I cant seem to get any work done on Fri or Sat or early part of Sundays…it has to be in da wee hours of Sunday before everiting gets done. Dats not a good habit u know. It adds to da migraine possibility.
4. Since Ive prepared for both levels, I’m all set to haf a back-to-back observation tomoro. It will be a waste if I dont. So its gonna be one tiring day.
5. While preparing for everiting, dis small brain of mine is tinking and tinking whether or not to write dat letter to da principal, asking to be posted dere. On laz Wed u see, da 2nd lang dpt HOD came to me and asked me to write dat letter, wifout asking me first whether I wanted to be posted dere or not. 10 mins into her asking me repeatedly to write dat letter asap, suddenly it occured to her whether I wanted to be posted dere. So den she asked whether I wanted to be posted dere. I could onli nod my head. So ‘dat human being’ haf asked me to write da letter but its all up to me actuali. Building up our love nest next year at Bukit Panjang dont sound dat appetising. I hate making decisions!
6. Its alreadi 1am but Im still blogging! Macam mana tak migraine!

Oklah Im off to bed. Instead of da normal 10am clock in at skool, I plan to reach dere at 8.30am. I need to time to settle down and be calm. So nites darlings, juz 2 more weeks to go, yipee!! Good luck for all da remaining observations. To ‘dat human being’, Im not talking to you! Hmph!

*SNIP SNIP* March 26, 2006

*SNIP SNIP*

Yesterday before going for my date wif Mira at Bukit Panjang Plaza, I went to Telok Blangah Heights to send Me-cooked-one Yong Taufu to Dear who is at da fire post dere. Wen I arrived dere, he was in his shorts and singlet buruk, jogging around da carpark. So cute! I love it wen he smiles so wide wide wen he sees me.

After passing da makan to him, I went to meet Mira. Our first eva short hang out session togeder. Bukit Panjang Plaza was like so damn packed wif people. It was like Orchard during Christmas eve. Teruk seh!

After having our dinner at Sakura, we headed off to Starbucks but a certain mentel small gerl suddenly wanted to cut her hair so we went to Jean Yip. I am so tempted to cut my hair also but short of cash lah. Gotta to wait for Dear den he can pay for it…hehe.

Jean Yip is having a promotion. $68 for a haircut and coloring. I wan to go and do it. Hehehe.

I wanna do my hair like dat…so lawa…

Lets get back to dat small minah rock who looked like one hip and cool minah rock after she got waxed by dat male hairstylist. Rock neva dies!!

tadaaa!!! new hair!

Im one rock chick babeh!!

in da toilet..

we saw dis gerl in her pyjamas and carrying a pig bag in a shopping center. Wassup wif dat?

So after her transformation from one boring minah to one minah rock chick ala ala anak metro, we headed back to Starbucks and lepak down dere, chit-chatting. She blanja me one caramel rhumba, so yummy except for da whip cream, yucks!

cutie cutie baby rabbits and hamsters

baby rabbits said: Jgn kacau ah, kita tgh nak mamam!

We should do dis more often eh minah rock. While sending me off to da taxi stand, she asked me how come we haf neva done dis earlier….I answered….”Coz laz time I used to see ur face everi single day” khakhakha lup you gerl!

*THE STORY OF BUBU AND KENIT* March 25, 2006

*THE STORY OF BUBU AND KENIT*

Title: The Story of Bubu & Kenit (2006)
Characters: 1st: Bubu - Da round yellow huggie pillow from Honey. Bubu coz I address my Honey as Busyuk, and he kols me Masam. Hehehe gross isnt it?
2nd: Kenit - da fav kitty a.k.a. my baby gerl
Venue: On my bed in my bedroom
Time: 7am
Date: 24th March 2006

THE END

*TAGGY BOARDY* March 25, 2006

*TAGGY BOARDY*

If you care to turn to ur left, you would see an absolutely brand new tag board. Nice color isnt it. Perfect for my current skin and it even haf dat smilies function I haf always wanted.

Dose unaware of wat happened yest muz be wondering, wassup wif da new tagboard. Well, I wanna gif dat issue a rez. Yesterday, all kinds of words dat neva comes out of my mouth juz spurted out non-stop but juz bcoz I was angry and pissed off wif a certain anonymous scumbag who happened to drop by my blog and left his piece of dung here. I gotta clean up my ‘haus’ dont I, if a stray dog passed by and decided to poop out of his mouth. So da cleanup was done, now my ‘haus’ is all clean and smelling so fresh and flowery. Hehe.

Im all calmed down now.

To dat certain piece of crap bag who bothered me yesterday, whose poop left me damn pissed-off everitime I open my blog…Im sori to ruin your sick fantasy of making miserable, or scared, or unhappy….well, your fantasy came true like 50% yesterday, but it was juz anger and frustration. But its all gone now. You wan me to get worried? Dere’s nuthing for me to get worried about. You wan me to get scared? No boogeyman under my bed. You wan me to be sad? Im hepi coz dere’s nuthing for me to be sad about. I haf people around me who love me to death. Sori to spoil ur fantasy huh. Everiting da fiance need to know about me were all laid out on da table 3 years ago. And I am not ashamed of my past, altho it wasnt a good or even near to a perfect one, but my past is wat makes me da person I am today. And my past, made me appreciate my family, my frenz and my fiance. I dont regret one bit of my past. So fuck off!

Now…..

If you are dat sombodi who came into my life 10 years ago, and kinda played a huge part in spoiling moz of my teenage and earli adulthood life, spending so much of my money, making me skip poly so much dat I practically kena kick out of it and putting me thru hell in da later part of da relationship wif ur immaturity, den up urs. Its been 3 long years. Get over it. You have ur fiancee and I haf mine. I love him coz he isnt you. So if it reali is you, den I pity ur fiancee for having a fiance who is so damn immature. Grow up while you still can.

If it isnt you who tagged me, who is called “My Ex”, wen you are not aniwhere mine, not even da letter ‘X’, coz you dont mean aniting to me animore, den Im wish to apologise for mentioning you so many times in dis entry or pointing our weakness for anibodi to read. If you cant forgive me, den biarlah saya tanggung dosa fitnah awak. BUT….onli if you DID NOT TAG ME! Understand? If not, biarlah kau yang tanggung dosa menyusah hidup orang lain, dan sampai dunia kiamat pon aku tak akan maafkan kau! Sumpah!

If you are not da person mentioned juz above dis para, den ur a freaking immature testicle-less bastard who haf got nuthin betta to do. You so free? Den why dont you go to da 12th floor of ur HDB blk, position urself till u can see da road below, count to 5, den jump! Maybe after dat, ur name will be on da frontpage of Newpaper, den u’ll be famous, den u wouldnt be freaking bored dat u had to disturb my boring and pathetic little life, yeah!

So lets put a full stop to dat stori. Ive got lesson plans to plan and Da Big Boss Dr. M is coming for his 1st formal observation on Monday. So Im gonna be busy. Wish me luck ya peeps, reali need it.

Not you, you freaking S-O-B!!!!